Day 85

Heading towards the end of a long week, full of broken sleep and extreme tiredness. Although was speaking with a colleague at NU who had sent me an email at 5am. I asked him if he ever slept and he said yes, between 9pm and midnight. 3 hours just isn't enough surely.

So just when you think you are making reasonable headway, something else takes a swipe. I have to say that Ali and I are in a real bind as to what to do. In order to obtain a restored salary we have to agree to a new social policy, which includes undesirable aspects that are troublesome. In doesn't provide the protection against the university's spin-out services company and restricts many other freedoms. We have been told to sign by end of tomorrow or we do not get the salary restoration. And they cannot guarantee that this offer will be in place after tomorrow. Given that the salary adjustment was originally conveyed without any mention of conditions, it was a source of ire and angst among many whom have now resigned to their fate.

I am incensed. I believe this is not the way to behave towards members of staff whether foreign or national, but this is falling on deaf ears. Deep down it feels like I have to sign because I doubt the university will honour the old contract anyway and then they save the money they would have given to me. They win. If I sign it, then it feels that I am agreeing to their terms and have given in and I am bound for the rest of my stay under the boot. They win.

The only upshot is their reputation and how they want the world to see it.

I apologise if you find talk about money offensive or embarrassing. There are practicalities to the financial situation, but life is more than money. Even if I do give in and accept the changes, the restored salary and new contract is still a net loss on what I was able to offer my family back in October when we had to make the hard choice as to coming to Kazakhstan. I feel I have let Ali down and my children too. I have to make a decision in the next 24 hours with no advice available.

In spite of this frustration, there are still good things about Kazakhstan. For example, I went out with a colleague to a restaurant where they served some of the best peppered steak I have ever had. So must find a babysitter and take Ali for a night out.

Was excited to come home to see a giant peach and lots of drawings from our children inspired by Roald Dahl. Ali and the children are going great with home schooling. A friend at work had commented on how amazing it was to see my children come into the work office with confidence, able to talk to adults and show consideration. He said it was a good indiciation of the hard work that I put in with them and that my input was a mere fraction of Ali's effort. It's not that I forget, but nice to be reminded how much a blessing my children are. And Ali too.

Ray